Sher...oops! (aka me and Giorgio)

Okay, confession time: I have a huge, deep, dark, guilty pleasure. Yes, I love my cold-pressed coffee from Brazil, but get a kick out of the constant misspellings of my name at Starbucks. However, there's even a deeper secret. I LOVE the History Channel series "Ancient Aliens." If you haven't seen it, it examines the theory that aliens visited our planet in the distant past and helped shape the world as we know it. I won't make any comment on the validity of that theory here, but I will say I thoroughly enjoy one of the main commentators on the show, Giorgio Tsoukalos.

So when I had the chance to meet him up-close and personal at Monsterpalooza in nearby Burbank, California this past weekend, I jumped at the chance. As fans of the show all know, Giorgio has an impressive head of hair, but for the less-fortunate, here is my geeky fan photo with him for proof.

ME & GIORGIO

In an even larger moment of geekitude, I decided to fork over my $25 and get an autographed 8x10 of Giorgio. Despite spelling my name to him, he started out with an "S". He was a sweetheart and offered to start over, but I decided it would be a humorous little addition to the blog. So below is the first "celebrity misspelling" of my name.

TO SHER OOPS...TO CHERYL! CRACK THE CODE...GALATICALLY YOURS.

THE CLOSE-UP

Don't be afraid to embrace your geekiness, dear readers! Until next time, galactically yours. -- The Name Is Cheryl.

 

SHARELL

I've seen this spelling of my name many, many times before. However, this time it's special because it's not from a Starbucks or any other kind of restaurant or eating establishment. I ventured behind the Orange Curtain (i.e., Orange County, land of Disney, the Nixon Library and center of political conservatism in California) for brunch and a movie with my dear friend, George, who just moved down there.

SHARELL

The security guard at the gated community halted my car and asked my name. She didn't seem confused by my name, but when she handed me the pass to place on my car's dashboard, the above is what I got.  This may be an isolated instant, and I'll have to test this in more detail as I continue to visit the O.C. 

Until next time, remember the Name Is CHERYL.

SHAROL/SHAPOL/SHOPOL/SHOROL

With a Christmas gift of a Starbucks card, I think my mother was hinting that I should do a few new blog entries. Despite my several month absence, the baristas and clerks have still not learned how to spell my name.

SHAROL

When I gave the cashier my name, there was not the slightest bit of hesitation as she scrawled my name across the cup. I'm guessing this is SHAROL (considering the already established patterns of this blog), but my first reaction was SHAPOL, which was quickly replaced by SHOPOL, then SHOROL. Regardless, after preparing my beverage, the barista just sat the cup on the bar and didn't even attempt to announce my name.

While I would like to suggest that Starbucks employees make a New Year's resolution to learn to spell my name, it still amuses me to see all the different variations, as well as the atrocious handwriting skills. Happy 2012, everyone!

SHERUL (and No. 26)

Sorry it's been such a long time since the last update. No excuses, but a couple of explanations. I haven't been drinking Starbucks' coffee this summer. There's a great new independent coffee shop just around the corner from my apartment, so I've been supporting local commerce, plus I sold my screenplay "Within the Darkness" back in June, finished a new one, and am nearly done with a third. It's been a very productive summer.

So here we are in fall -- one of my favorite times of year, especially here in Los Angeles, where it's more like summer than summer. I've spent the past couple of days going to horror-related screening and events for the Shriekfest Film Festival (shameless plug: my script, "Evil's Toy" was a semi-finalist in the fest). However, lest I get too uppity, leave it to a studio security guard to put me back in my place with the 26th different spelling of my name.

SHERUL

Check out the Facebook page for "Within the Darkness" to see the first teaser trailer: http://www.facebook.com/WithinTheDarkness -- and "like" if you're the sort who does that sort of thing.

Until next time, I remain --
Cheryl

SHERAL - and do a good thing today.

Be patient and try to keep up. This is a bit of stream of consciousness writing here. I zipped over to Veggie Grill on my lunch hour because they were donating 50% of all purchases to Stray Cat Alliance, which is a very special organization to me because my dear little bundle of fur, Peggy Sue, was adopted from a rescuer who works very closely with them. Back last August when I got this very same spelling at Starbucks, I commented that it rhymes with feral. (Stray ---> Feral -- get the connection?)

If you're in the Los Angeles area, go grab dinner there. It's a painless way to help out and you get to chow on some yummy vegan food. (I highly recommend the "All Hail Kale" salad.)

SHERAL still rhymes with FERAL

Below is my beautiful girl. She's been living with me and her boyfriend Owen since December of 2002. Since she was about five or six months old when I adopted her, I suspect it's pretty close to her birthday, so happy birthday, Peggy!

PEGGY SUE

SHIRLL -- Pre-Apocalyptic Post

In honor of the impending Apocalypse earthquake and subsequent Rapture that will be rolling across the international dateline in about four hours, I decided to treat myself to a glass of cabernet and some Indian food (palek paneer and veggie samosas). However, along with my yummy spinach and cheese entree, I got an added extra bonus of the 25th different misspelling of my name. I'll cut my server a break. He was non-hipster and English was definitely not his first language.

SHIRLL

As a bonafide heathen, as well as an excommunicated Lutheran, I'm pretty sure I won't be raptured, unless my kindness to animals and ability to say all fifty states in alphabetical order count for some bonus points. It's not that I don't believe Jesus existed. In fact, I'm a big fan of his work, it's just his mega-fanclub I could do without. I'm sure there were just as many Jesuses around back then as there are Jaden/Caden/Aidens being named in the hospitals around the world in this day and age.

I'm actually looking forward to the post-Rapture experience. Imagine a world full of liberals, where gay marriages are authorized and protected in every state in the union, marijuana is legal and taxed to the hilt, racism is a thing of the past and we have a balanced budget, along with subsidized health care for all. **

I believe the proprietors of Electric Lotus are Hindu, as they have a statue of Shiva the Destroyer in the entry way. Regardless, I'm a big fan of the statement on their receipts "LOVE IS LIFE". So whatever happens in the coming hours, I think if we all kept that mantra in mind, the world would be a much better place.

NAMASTE.
___________________________
** However, if the chosen start disappearing, everyone else meet me at House of Pies for some coconut cream pie -- carbs and sugar be damned!

And why not enjoy a Blondie classic while you're waiting? (Think they're making a lot of $$$ on iTunes this weekend?)

Special Tax Day Edition

My friend Deven (check out his blog at www.hungrytigernyc.com) sent this photo to me quite awhile ago, but I'd been saving it until this special day. Now it one thing for a college drop-out at Starbucks to spell a name incorrectly, but if it's someone whose job depends on attention to detail, lest the wrath of the Federal government comes raining down...well, not good.

DEVEN, LIKE SEVEN

I hope everyone got lots of money back and you spent it on something frivolous.

SHERIL

Yes, I know I haven't blogged here since December of last year, but I've mostly been making coffee at home to save a few bucks, or drinking the awful office swill (by the way, I tested the coffee in my own pot at home and it's fine, so it's either the water in Beverly Hills or the the actual coffee maker that makes it bitter and yucky).  However, with this 24th different spelling of my name, I felt compelled to write a few sentences.

SHERIL

Yes, this is a variation on previous spellings: Sherill, Sheral and Sherol -- but I'll give him +3 style points for originality and inspiring me to write on this blog again.  You may notice I'm drinking ICED COFFEE -- yes, let me rub it in -- it's supposed to be 88 F (31 C) degrees in Los Angeles today.

Also, I believe this is the first time I've been in Starbucks since the rebranding. They're no longer putting their name on the cups and just going with a simplified version of the siren/mermaid logo.

I promise not to be so delinquent in the coming weeks. Many of you have submitted your own wacky misspellings, and I promise to post them soon.  Thanks for reading!

SHARROLLE

If I'm counting correctly, this is the 23rd different variation on my name and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. I recently read somewhere that parents are putting a premium on unique names, rather than traditional or family names. Maybe this Starbucks cashier was just trying to help me out in that department? I'll give her plus two (+2) style points: one for the very girlie and loopy handwriting and another for the smiley face. I wonder if she drew the smiley because she knew she spelled my name incorrectly and just wanted to soften the blow, or if that's her signature trademark as a Starbucks cashier?

SHARROLLE

With its very faint accent mark on the E, this spelling reminded me of CHAROLE -- the very first post on this blog. Who knew that four months later I'd still have fodder? (Please check out some of the old posts if you haven't already done so.) Some of you have commented that the various clerks have to be doing this on purpose. I would believe that conspiracy theory also, except that my purchases are spread out between at least a half dozen different locations and a few different eating/drinking establishments across the Los Angeles area. It's been the story of my life since Day One. I used to get mad, but now I like it because 1) I have a new blog post; 2) It brings a little humor in my life; and 3) It just proves that in the battle of evolution, my gene pool has won.

Get Drunk at Starbucks

USA Today reports that Starbucks is planning to serve regional wine and beer, along with cheese platters on china plates. Seventy-percent of Starbucks' business is before 2pm, so this is an attempt to make the evening hours more profitable. Click here for the link. I don't know about you, but nothing says "fine wine" or "romantic atmosphere" like Starbucks.  Also, in major cities, Starbucks is one of the few establishments that offers a public bathroom. We all know what happens when you mix public intoxication and lavatories. Nice, right?

I wonder if when you order your glass of Merlot or Cabernet from the hipster cashiers and wine stewards (oh god, hipster wine stewards!), if they'll write your name on the side of a plastic glass? I can't even imagine what kind of misspellings I'll get if there's alcohol in the mix. I'll look forward to that. 

S/CHAREL

Today's entry comes from the corporate cafeteria. I don't go there too often because I've been brown-bagging it to save up some money (Starbucks aren't free, you know.) A previous entry at the commissary yielded the only full-on bingo/correct spelling I've had of my name since the inception of this blog back in August. But alas, today's post will not disappoint in the misspelling department.

S/CHAREL

I went to the grill and ordered a black bean burger and some fries. The cook noted my menu choices and asked my name. I told him, but then there was a long...dramatic...pause. He looked to me for some help, but just as I blurted out "C", he quickly scribbled SHAREL. He apologized and went back and corrected the "S" to a "C", but, of course, in the whole scheme of things, it really didn't matter.

I went back and looked over all my old blog posts, and this is a completely new and unique spelling (with either the C or the S), so I'm going to give plus three (+3) style points for originality, and one more style point for a yummy and filling lunch.

SHERILL - Part 2

Otherwise known as "Sherill: When Misspellings Attack" or "The Revenge of the Misspelling." Sherill is a repeat from an August blog post, but seems to be one of the favorite variations, along with Sherell. Yes, phonetically I get it, but logically, I'm just having a difficult time. What started as a funny little experiment to amuse myself is turning into a depressing commentary on the American educational system.

SHERILL

But rather than wonder where the country went wrong, let me dissect this entry even more. First, not sure if you can get the scale from this photo, but this is some of the tiniest writing I've seen in a long time. I'm going to deduct negative one (-1) style points for the "S" that looks like an number eight, and that "R" is dangerously close to being a "V". I've noticed at this Starbucks location, the regular barista doesn't announce names when beverages are ready, he just yells out the drink size/type. He must be as equally baffled as I am.

Maybe I'll pronounce this CHEV-VEAL with a French flair? (Though that would require an E on the end, it's almost as logical as this spelling.)

Until they misspell again -- and you know they will very soon!

And have some 'punkin' pie!

This was in my email this morning from my friend David in New York City. No explanation as to where/who/why, but do we really need one?

ENJOY YOUR DAY!

I was so impressed they got "we're" correct, it took me a second to see the misspelling.

SHERLLE?

I know I've been remiss in updating this blog, but it's not without good reason. I've been very inspired in my larger writing and re-writing projects. Also, my script "Within the Darkness" was recently named a Finalist in the annual Horror Screenplay Contest sponsored by Cherub Films, so I've been trying to send my twisted little baby out into the world to gather more accolades and attention.

However, today's coffee mangling was just too good not to share immediately. As you can see, Starbucks has switched over to their holiday-themed hot cups. It was a chilly 39F (3C, for my international readers) in Los Angeles overnight, so I was looking forward to a hot steamy beverage with my morning commute. When I gave the cashier my name, I could tell she was confused and waiting for me to spell it for her, but, of course, I didn't let her off the hook. I could tell by the swoop of her hand that she boldly went for the "Sherl" -- but then was at a loss for the second soft syllable. Her little hand got all tight and she brought her face closer to the cup and scribbled a few more characters. Seemingly satisfied, she passed the cup onto the barista and took my money.

SHERLLE?

The barista was equally confused. When he was done with my order, he yelled "Sheri!" (Or Sherry).  When I picked up my cup, my initial reaction was "Sherlle" -- but on closer inspection, she appears to have scribbled the final two letters out. But if you look even closer, you can see she was making a political statement for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Maybe I'm warped in the brain, but to me this strange little Rorschach Test looks like a Native American caricature. He's in 3/4 view, looking to the right with a cartoon grin on one side of his face and a couple of feathers sticking up proudly on his head. Yes, and before you say it, I have been in therapy.

I promise to be more diligent in my updates here. Several friends have sent me submissions and I have a backlog of my own misspellings too (no correct spellings of my name yet, by the way).

S/CHEREYL

We've had a case of indecisiveness like this in the past, i.e. covering your bases with a creative use of both C and S, but this cashier's handwriting takes some other creative liberties.  Notice how the Y loops through the second E.  I would almost dare to say that there's a phantom R in there, which would actually make it S/CHERERYL.

S/CHEREYL

I'm not a handwriting expert, but I am super assistant--so from an efficiency standpoint, this cashier is a time waster. They lifted the pen a total of five times to write my name: 1 and 2) between and after the C and the S (and which came first the C or the S?) 3); after the R; 4) after the second E; and 5) after the Y.  Also was the second E an afterthought and squeezed in between the R and the Y?

I'm feeling generous this morning because Los Angeles has finally cooled down after 3 or 4 days of blazing heat.  We broke an all-time record on Monday--113F/45C.  I'll give S/CHEREYL plus one (+1) style points for giving me another new and unique spelling of my name, but don't expect anymore because sitting on the fence with the C/S is just cheating.

UPDATE:  I just found out via #trending topics on Twitter that today is National Coffee Day--and they still couldn't spell my name correctly.

PROJECT: DECIPHER

No, that's not a title of a new SciFi movie. As promised in my last post, here's a special interpretative/collaborative post. When I got this beverage a couple of days ago, I knew it was mine because I was the only person there who ordered an iced latte, but you wouldn't know it from the writing on the side of the cup.  I had a couple of theories as to what it said:  Sherl, Shurl or even Cherl--if that loopy first letter is a C--but I just wasn't sure. So I decided to ask for a little help from my friends (via Facebook, of course)--

What do you think?

--everyone was pretty much as puzzled as I was, but here are a couple of alternate interpretations: "Sherlu! That's short for Cheryl-Lue" - John; and "I think they were trying to call you sherbet" - Susan.

But as much as I like those two ciphers, I'm going with "PHERLI" as suggested by my friend Todd because you just can't deny that first letter looking like a P. So I declare Pherli to be the second recipient of the LEFT FIELD award.  Say hello to Mr. Ted Williams and thanks for playing!

So far to the left...

not even in the ballpark!

SHEROL

After having a dead battery AND getting locked out of my car last night (long story), I really needed some instant gratification java this morning. When I walked into my local Starbucks, I recognized several of the clerks, so I thought we might get some kind of repeat today, but...

SHEROL

Though this is a variation on the SHERAL/SH@ROL/SHARROL theme, we haven't seen this exact spelling yet. Because the writing is clear and legible and because the venti Americano managed to power me through my entire day without droopy eyelids, I'm giving a very generous plus two (+2) style points.  Stay tuned.  In the next couple of days I'll catch up with a couple of guest posts and a very special interpretative/collaborative post.

CHERLY - He doesn't know how to spell his mother's name

This past Sunday, I felt for sure this science experiment was coming to an abrupt end. I walked into my local Starbucks late afternoon to get a little icy pick-me-up before I headed out for my weekend adventure. When I ordered my venti iced Americano, the cashier exclaimed, "oh, that's my mother's name!"  My brain responded, "oh well...." [insert cartoon wah-wah sound here]  However, I saw him pause and look quizzically at the cup.  He then added, "my mother would be really pissed if I spelled her name wrong."

CHERLY

Well folks, looks like Sonny Boy's momma is not going to be so proud of him for this.  She got stretch marks for you and you don't spell her name correctly?  Shame on you!  Your mom's name is not Cher-Lee, which is how this would be pronounced.   Also your R looks very much like a V.  So once again, here's a close, but NO CIGAR for Cherly -- and here comes the cheesy picture of Lieutenant Starbuck:

NO CIGAR

Please note that the Sheryl Crow "100 Miles to Memphis" CDs appear to be SOLD OUT, so I'm guessing this will lessen my chances for HALF-BINGOs for awhile.

SHAROL with a triangle for the A

I'm going to call this entry our first duplicate, though graphically it may be a bit of a stretch. As with SH@ROL, there is an unique flair going on with the A. In fact, I'm relatively sure it was the same cashier -- so at least she's consistent in her incorrectness.  While this A looks a bit more like a triangle (or perhaps she's promoting pyramid power), while the other is more of an at-sign, I'm going to chalk up the differences to hot vs. cold cup.  I would guess it's a bit slippery to actually write on those cold cups.  Also note the two loops on the O, which makes it look like a little lasso from the roper R trying to snare the runaway L.

SHAROL

I want to thank everyone for the overwhelmingly positive response to this silly little blog last month.  I may not be doing as many updates this month, as I'm in need of a research budget to continue this highly technical and sophisticated experiment.  Before starting this quest, I treated myself to a coffee maybe once or twice a week.  However, I became a tad obsessed in the month of August, and therefore was over-caffeinated.  I tend not to be a creature of habit in my beverage/food consumption either, but Starbucks presents unique opportunities to have my name mangled.

CHERYLL -- and a little shameless self-promotion

I know I promised you pie(charts) to go along with the coffee, but when I clicked chart wizard in my Excel spreadsheet, the data was actually a bit boring graphically. In the gender category, males and females were split evenly 50/50 in misspelling my name. There was one Starbucks and one non-Starbucks (McDonald's) HALF BINGO. The only correct spelling of my name was from a non-corporate joint (the company commissary). In the month of August, there were sixteen different incorrect versions of my name, and -- drum roll please -- Starbucks' clerks spelled my name correctly a whopping total of ZERO times (nil for thirteen).

Since you've been denied piecharts, here's a little extra credit reading for you:  my regular "Hollywood Notes" column in the UK literary publication, ONE Magazine.  (Click on the link to read -- and be sure to check out the other great articles and stories. If you live in the UK, you can pick up a free copy in finer establishments in London, Edinburgh, Glasgow and surrounds.)

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

I really-really-really thought for sure today was going to be a HALF-BINGO. After all, this was the third day in a row I've ordered my Venti Americano with Sheryl Crow's soulful gaze staring up at me from her CD display in front of the register. When I told the cashier my name, he asked me a question I haven't heard in eons, "is that with a C or a S?" (Did I put this out into the universe when I noted this a couple of days ago with my SHERLY post?) Now technically, BINGOs only count without any kind of prompting, but as you can see, I didn't have to worry about dolling out the big guns today. Like CHERYLLE, this is another case of "should have stopped while they were ahead." 

CHERYLL

We've already had a variation on this spelling with the indefinite C/SHERYLL back in the early days of this month. Although he had a bit of help with the C or S part of my name, I'm going to begrudgingly award him a NO CIGAR award -- mostly because I want to see Dirk Benedict's handsome face again on this blog.

NO CIGAR FOR YOU!

Thanks for reading and I'll be back in a few days.